Time to recover

As I lay here and do nothing, I find myself letting out a humongous sigh. It's not a sigh of sadness or anything, it's just a big sigh. SPOP is finally over, and the last week was quite draining.

SPOP 8. I still can't believe the coords gave it to me. I truly thought SPOP 6 was my TLO, but I had a glimmer of hope that perhaps the coords would grant me one more. I went into SPOP 8 with little sleep, much like the previous SPOPs, but I tried to staff my heart out. It was the only SPOP I missed breakfast for (the 2nd day), but I think I did my best. After it was done, I felt truly content with my work and quite drained. I was a zombie at work that night. Customers and fellow associates all looked at me like they were wondering what the heck was wrong with me and why my eyes were so tired/poofy.

What was SPOP to me this past summer? It's hard to describe in words. I said during SPOP 8 to Otero that on any given day, my definition of SPOP, or what it meant to me, would be different. I gave a terribly poor metaphor during hall intros and said that SPOP was like skydiving. I said that the staffers were like the people you get strapped to. We are the support system. But the spoppers would have to take that leap of faith. Of course, it would be freaking terrifying for most, hurling themselves into who knows what, but once they pulled that cord, it would be a crazy exhilerating experience. When I was done explaining, I received a lot of blank stares and a few "mmhmms" and snaps from staffers. Whatever, it makes sense to me.

It has seriously taken me several days to recover. And this makes me sad. I'm only gonna be 21 next month, and I feel like I recover like a grandma. Oh well. :) The past month was awesome though. I probably shoulda paid more attention to the philosophy class I'm in... but I guess now I have time to focus more. I feel like the past month rushed by so quickly. So many happenings, but it was all a blur. And now, as I take the opportunity to sit back, reflect, and take a breath, I can't believe that August is already ending. I'll be moving into my new apartment soon, and before I know it (hopefully), the school year will be starting up. As much as I don't want to graduate, I would like for the fall quarter to pass me by unnoticed. There's a freshly kindled excitement within me that I can't quite explain, and sometimes I get embarrassed of myself because I feel childish.

I want to go to Korea. I've never gone during any other season besides summer. I really want to go during fall or spring, but that's pretty much impossible because of school. Everyone says it's so beautiful during those times, and I really wanna experience Korea while not sweating my intestines out and feeling like I have to shower five times a day. AND Eunice is there, and some other whatever people :), and it would be cool to hang out in zee muzzerland. I'm trying to figure out if I'll be able to afford a trip in the winter after fall quarter ends, but we'll see. As much as I love the family, I kind of want to explore on my own there this time. I've always been semi-obligated to stick with visiting all the relatives, but I want to just go on a whim and do whatever.

I think I am way too distracted to keep writing, but I think that's a good recap of what's been going on since I last wrote. I am content with what I accomplished during SPOP, I am ready to step it up in terms of summer school, I am anxious for the school year to start, and I am in a state of missing people who've left me and being excited about those who have returned to me. But life is good, regardless. It always is.

Oh, and I guess I should add a goal.

Goal #4: To try as hard as I did during SPOP in my current life thingamajiggers-- summer school, work, friendships, family, faith.

Goal #5 (I'm getting cray cray): To apply what I learned from SPOP in my daily life.