So much on the mind as of late

Yesterday while interning, I was trying to gather some pictures of my family for my Korean project, so I decided to go through my old Xanga. Remember that? Xanga. Oh gee. Anyways, I forgot how long I actually used that thing, and I was going through all those old posts and it brought back crazy memories. I found an entry from 2004 December 1st, and it just reminded me of how quickly life passes us by. But as quickly as it may pass, life is so thorough and complex. It's not like we can describe the last few years in a few sentences. And if we do, it's because we've forgotten or overlooked so much.

I'm not ready to graduate. And in fact, I think I may not even walk in June. I'm trying to figure out if staying an extra quarter or so to finish up philosophy will be worth it. I'm genuinely scared to grow up. So many of the people I hang out with are younger by a year or two. And I realized that I don't see my older friends as much anymore because they've moved on with their lives. College has come and gone for them, and they're now facing the bigger and badder. But when I feel apprehensive about the future and getting older, I remember what Marlo told me about his perspective on aging. He told me that when people would tell him that he was old or whatever, he would thank them and take it as a compliment. He told me that it's one of God's greatest blessings to give us the privilege of aging and experiencing life. That's just such a beautiful way to look at things.

So much has been going on. These last few weeks of school are overwhelming when I look at them while in the moment. But then I take a step back and examine my life in the midst of the Big Picture... and this part of my life is so minuscule and incomprehensibly tiny that it's relieving and even somewhat amusing. It's not that I don't think that school is important or anything, but it's incredibly relieving to remember that there is a Bigger Picture. My mind has felt so littered with concerns to the point of my own basic thoughts feeling claustrophobic due to the lack of room up there, but I always find peace in Him.